God Will Provide
I am headed to the grocery store today, fussy toddler in tow. Preparing to get out the door is no easy task. To my toddler, no clothing “feels” right. I get it kid, me too. I distract her and myself with a pack of fruit snacks while slipping on her boots. “If you put your coat on, I’ll give you a sucker in the store!” She obliges and I scoop her up before she can change her mind. I grab her blanky, my purse, my coffee, the waters and the snacks. I appreciate my remote access as I struggle into my winter boots, clunk down the stairs and manage open a door. I am instantly met with whines for the said sucker while trying to buckle the car seat straps.
I close her car door and stand outside of it for just a second to take a breath and enjoy the silence before facing a barrage of questions over the sucker again. I need for more time. God will provide.
I make it to the store and we pile out of the car bundling our coats around us. The toddler has no feet according to her today, so I must carry her to the door. I sling my purse on my back and pick up my babe, wet muddy boots rubbing against my jeans, I need more energy. God will provide.
We grab a cart and start working to finagle her monstrous boots into the tiny cart holes. I take a deep breath as I notice other people impatiently lining up to grab a cart and before I can sigh out my breath I hurry out of their way. I’m met by a door greeter and I smile, pretending to be happy about my morning. I tap all of my pockets in search of my grocery list. I lean down to search my bag and get kicked in the forehead by a gigantic rubber boot. “Ugh! Why did you do that?” I snap at my girl. “I want my sucker.” She says stone-faced. I hand her the sucker, I need more patience. God will provide.
Now I’m keenly aware of the eyes on me, judging my behavior as I search for my list while trying to prevent us both from melting down.
There it is! I stand up and smile at my girl. Here we go. I start chatting as we make our way to the fruit. It’s mostly moldy and I huff as I pick through trying to find a container that isn’t half trash. Again, other patrons dodge around me grabbing their supplies and anxiety creeps up. I try my best to make my selections quickly. I offer a smile and it’s not returned. I need serenity. God will provide.
I get to the deli area and they don’t have my regular sandwich meat. Ugh. I sigh again and pull out my phone to start investigating brands my other daughter can eat. She has celiac disease and she can’t eat gluten. If she does, her body’s own immune system will attack her own healthy cells causing a whole mess of problems. Here we go, this one. I need guidance. God will provide.
Seeing my cell phone, my toddler thinks it’s time to watch a show. I say no. She is getting upset and I struggle to balance my desire to just get on with our shopping and appease her with my desire to not raise a bratty kid addicted to T.V. I contemplate my parenting strategy. I need advice. God will provide.
I grab this and that, involving my girl with the process to keep her entertained. We head into the waffle isle and my face turns hot. Our Gluten Free waffles are out of stock again. I select a flavor I know no one will eat. I need acceptance. God will provide.
I trudge onto the yogurt, out of our flavor, but they have gogurt! God will provide.
On to the chip-isle to find the new (and gluten free) Doritos that my daughter has grown to LOVE, gone. I’ll get it next week. God will provide.
I head over to the granola bars, almost all of the granola bars are gone. I remember there was talk a few weeks ago about an oats shortage. It finally reached us. The only brand they have left, she can’t eat. I walk away empty handed. Maybe not today. God will provide.
I am flustered now and hot. I strip off my winter coat and again talk my toddler into staying in her seat. Passersby stare.
I find the bread the rest of us eat, pasta, even GF pasta is stocked today. I say a silent thank you to God for provision and continue on.
I make my way to the GF section for GF bread. My toddler is done with her sucker now and wants out of the shopping cart. I sigh trying to convince her to stay seated. I smile haphazardly at the other shoppers gawking at us as she tries to climb out of the seat. I could do without their prying stares. I heave another breath. I’m aware that I haven’t been breathing. Ok, made it to the G-Free section. No bread. Wait what? I stoop down below, no bread. I start shuffling the items on the shelf. No bread. I grab an employee and ask, “Where is all your GF bread?” “We’re out. You have to get here early for stock. We haven’t gotten our regular supply.” He coldly replies. I’ll have to try another store. God will provide.
I check out, load the babe and the half checked-off groceries into the car and head to another store, tired and defeated. There is only one thing I am sure I will find today and that is God’s promise to provide for me, and my family.
“So don’t worry about these things,
Saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink?
What will we wear?’
These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers,
But your heavenly Father already knows all of your needs.
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else,
and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
So don’t worry about tomorrow,
for tomorrow will bring its own worries.
Today’s trouble is enough for today.”
Matthew 6:31-34 (NLT)
God will provide.
Written By: Liz Andrews